The Divorce Allies Podcast

Negotiations and Narcissists in Divorce Mediation

The Divorce Allies

Welcome to The Divorce Allies Podcast, a podcast and video series where we dive into all things divorce. We focus on the process of creating a settlement offer with a team of financial professionals, divorce mortgage planning specialists, parenting coordinators, and narcissistic coaches. We cover all areas of the divorce settlement process from financial to emotional well-being. my name is Melissa Gragg and I'm our financial mediator and business valuator and I'm with Victoria McCooey, who is our high-conflict divorce coach.

Today we're talking about negotiations and narcissists in divorce mediation, which was the topic of our recent live coaching session for our members.

Key Podcast takeaways:

  1. Understanding Narcissistic Triggers: The podcast highlights the importance of recognizing and managing one's reactions to the manipulative tactics often employed by narcissists in divorce settings. It emphasizes training oneself to remain calm and not react impulsively to provocations, which can be critical in maintaining control during mediation.
  2. Focusing on Self-Control: A major takeaway is shifting focus from the narcissist’s behaviors to one's own responses. The discussion provides strategies for breaking habitual reactions to the narcissist’s actions, thus reclaiming personal power and focus during negotiations.
  3. Four-Step Process for Handling Lies: The episode outlines a structured approach to effectively deal with falsehoods presented by a narcissistic partner during mediation. This includes letting the narcissist expose their own inconsistencies without engaging in a direct confrontation.
  4. Maintaining Emotional Distance: By not engaging directly with the lies and provocations, individuals can maintain a strategic emotional distance, reducing stress and potential manipulation. This involves understanding the patterns of interaction with the narcissist and deliberately choosing not to engage in a way that escalates conflict.
  5. Documenting and Using Narcissist's Words Against Them: The podcast discusses how to strategically use the narcissist’s statements by documenting them and using their own words to highlight discrepancies and untruths. This tactic helps in building a stronger case in mediation without directly confronting the narcissist.

Melissa Gragg
CVA, MAFF
Expert testimony for financial and valuation issues
Bridge Valuation Partners, LLC
melissa@bridgevaluation.com
http://www.BridgeValuation.com
http://www.ValuationPodcast.com
http://www.MediatorPodcast.com
https://www.valuationmediation.com 
https://www.thedivorceallies.com/
Cell: (314) 541-8163

Victoria McCooey
https://www.victoriamccooey.com/
https://www.thedivorceallies.com/
Victoria@VictoriaMcCooey.com
 @VictoriaMcCooey  


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