Position Statements: Your Divorce Roadmap | Negotiate From Strength & Avoid Oversharing

Position Statements: Your Divorce Roadmap | Negotiate From Strength & Avoid Oversharing

Welcome back to the Divorce Allies Podcast. In today’s workshop-style episode, we’re diving into one of the most powerful—but overlooked—tools in your divorce toolkit: the position statement.

https://www.thedivorceallies.com/

If you’ve ever felt like your case is a chaotic mix of emotional stories, endless emails, and missing numbers—this episode is your turning point.

Emile Flowers and Melissa Gragg walk you step-by-step through what a divorce position statement is, why it’s crucial for mediation or trial, and how it gives you control, confidence, and clarity throughout the process.

We’ll break down exactly what goes into this document, how to use it to negotiate from strength, and how to avoid oversharing while still being taken seriously.

Plus: get insider strategies for using the position statement to anchor your offer, save legal fees, and keep your professionals on the same page—without having to repeat your story 500 times.

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS

Your Position Statement Is Your North Star
It keeps you focused, strategic, and fact-based—so your team, mediator, or judge sees your case clearly, not emotionally.

Clarity Wins Over Chaos Every Time
A concise, well-crafted position statement makes you look credible, calm, and prepared—even when emotions are high.

Tell Your Full Story—Then Summarize Strategically
Voice-memo your entire history, then use AI (like ChatGPT) to extract timelines, top issues, and facts that belong in the statement.

Anchor the Offer, Don’t Chase It
A strong position statement lets you lead with your offer and forces others to respond to your clarity, not drag you into their confusion.

Less Is More—Until They Ask for More
Start small: one or two pages. But be ready with deeper data, summaries, and exhibits to pull out if challenged. That’s your quiet power.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

Q: What exactly is a divorce position statement—and why do I need one?
A: It’s a short, fact-based summary (1–2 pages) of your history, top issues, and high-level settlement goals. It keeps your team aligned, saves you legal fees, and presents you as credible and prepared in negotiations or court.

Q: How detailed should my position statement be?
A: Start with bullet points, dates, and major assets/issues—enough for someone to understand the case in 5–10 minutes. You can build out detailed sections later (on parenting, finances, home) as needed.

Q: Can I make one if I’m already in the middle of my divorce?
A: Yes. It’s never too late. Whether you’re just starting or 6 weeks from trial, a position statement helps refocus the strategy and save time during every meeting, mediation, or hearing.

Q: What if I’m too emotional to write it?
A: That’s okay. Start by voice-memoing your story. Then use AI tools to help turn your thoughts into facts and timelines. You’ll process your emotions and produce a clear strategy at the same time.

Q: How do I use this in mediation?
A: Bring it. Share it with the mediator (and your attorney, if applicable) ahead of time. Let it guide the conversation, anchor your offer, and remind the professionals what you want—so you’re not stuck re-explaining everything.

Melissa Gragg
https://www.valuationmediation.com/

Emile Flowers
https://www.divorcemortgageplanningservices.com/